Support can help reduce your confusion and fear.

Change is a natural part of relationships. Binary thinking increases fear of change. We need each other to calm down when we get scared. And support can help us orient to what we know and increase our sense of security.

In the context of loving someone who’s exploring their gender or changing the way they understand or present their gender, fear of uncertainty paired with cultural conditioning into binary thinking can cause a host of challenges. 

Unfortunately when you’re in this position, there are often obstacles to getting the necessary support and guidance you need to make sense of your feelings and orient to what’s true for you and your relationship.

Some partners don’t want to admit that they need support because they think it will send the message that they aren’t supportive of their partner’s decision to explore their gender or transition. 

Other partners know that their friends and family won’t support their partner’s transition, and they don’t feel like they have anyone to turn to for support. 

And some partners aren’t really sure how they feel about all this so they don’t want the focus on them at all.

I’m here to tell you that even the most supportive and affirming partners need support. 

It doesn’t matter if you have degrees in gender studies, have trans and non-binary friends or even if you are trans yourself, being with some through a change can bring up fears and feelings that require support to move through.

We all need support to handle our feelings when something feels scary.

And if you’re dealing with judgment from others on top of the change you’re experiencing, then you probably really need support.

There’s nothing wrong with needing support. 

There’s nothing wrong with having feelings about change.

What’s not helpful is pretending you don’t have fears or feelings because that will keep you from getting the support you need.

And then how do you support anyone else?

My new program, Empowered Partners, is focused on supporting you. Empowered Partners is a 6 week program designed to empower you with the guidance, education and support you need to offer meaningful support to your transgender, non-binary and gender-questioning partner. 

If you're looking for support around this type of change in your relationship, I hope you'll register. Space is limited and registration closes April 9th.