So we know that change is a part of life and that binary thinking increases fear. Now I want to talk about what can happen in our relationships when we’re scared.

Feeling afraid causes us to scan for danger. If we can identify the threat that’s scaring us, maybe we can protect ourselves from it. If, in that scanning for threat, you find that it’s something related to your partner that’s causing you to feel scared, you might move away from them to feel safer, whether or not they're actually doing anything threatening.

Sometimes it’s really healthy and important to get distance from others to regulate and re-establish a sense of security.

But because we’re mammals, we also need other mammals to help us calm down when we feel afraid. (Cue pets to the rescue when people just won’t do.)

Because it can be hard to calm down when you’re isolated, fear within your relationship can build, causing your relationship with your partner to suffer. Because it can be hard to think clearly when you're scared, navigating a change (like, oh, say, gender transition) while you're scared can be really hard.

Our relationships can suffer when we’re feeling scared or threatened or simply overwhelmed. It's important to find ways to soothe our fears and find our way back to feeling connected to others so that we can think more clearly. Finding other people who understand your fears can help you calm them.

My new program, Empowered Partners, will connect you with other partners who can relate to what you’re feeling right now, helping you to feel less isolated and more empowered.

Empowered Partners is a 6 week program designed to empower you with the guidance, education and support you need to offer meaningful support to your transgender, non-binary and gender-questioning partner. 

If you're looking for support around this type of change in your relationship, I hope you'll register. Space is limited and registration closes April 9th.